At the end of August, I started a new job at my old high school as a paraprofessional. I have two students; I work with one for the first half of the day and the other student for the other half of the day. I am basically a helper to guide them through their classes and keep them on track. I take my job very seriously and truly I want to make a difference in their lives.  

(Not only do I work with my students one on one, but I also try and help all the kids in the classroom. Just because they do not have an IEP or 504 plan does not mean they do not need someone to push them to be better and work harder.) 

Having a restorative mindset is the best thing a teacher can do these days in schools. Consequences actually worked back then; times are very different now. Children are not scared of adults or getting in trouble these days. So how can we fix our students’ behaviors without pushing them into their little shells or causing them to act out?? CHANGING OUR WAYS OF COMMUNICATION WITH OUR STUDENTS!!! 

First off, we need to remember that humans are intrinsically motivated to connect with others and feel like we belong. This goes beyond wanting to fit in, this has become almost ingrained in our motivation as a whole species. Back then, if you did not fit in with your “group” you would be alone and miss out on necessary things like food, shelter, etc. Obviously, today it is different because most people have these basic necessities, but still, that need to belong is there. When a student loses their sense of belonging, behavioral patterns start to come up. 

Behaviors are a form of communication, whether it is through body language or physical words or actions; like them putting up their hoods, swearing, being sarcastic, or putting their heads down. Kids in schools are usually either anxious or bored. James Clear speaks about the Goldilocks Rule, which states that the best way to keep yourself motivated is to work on tasks that are not too easy or too hard, but just right. This relates to students at school, because if work is too hard it brings on too much stress causing anxiety and if work is too easy it doesn’t bring on enough stress causing boredom.  

Student-teacher relationships are VERY important. Us teachers can make a huge difference in these kids’ lives if we start changing how we interact with these students daily. We need to start each day with a fresh start; forgive each and every student every day. We need to drop the labels, stop pointing fingers and start focusing on the behaviors. The more we focus on getting to know our students, the better. The more you know about them, the more you will start to understand why they do what they do. Also, if you show interest in their personal lives, then they will see that you care, and that bond will become stronger over time.  

Teachers and students need to start working as a team and not against each other!!!

Covid has really caused a lot of decline in my mental health. I felt like I was finally getting better. Getting stronger mentally. And recently I’ve been an anxious mess. I’ve started to feel more and more like a child again. All I want is affection and comfort and I can’t always get that. I literally feel like I’m a kid.. it’s a very hopeless, lonely feeling. It makes me feel very dependent on people and I know I cannot be this way forever… or I’ll never succeed in life.

Covid has been tough for everyone… it has caused life to be put on pause… it has caused me to stay home, sit around, do nothing, and be stuck with my thoughts..

I’m naturally a person who gets seasonal depression in the winter time, and now adding covid precautions on top of it, I feel more and more anxious and just down.

I know a lot of people don’t understand what I deal with, and that’s understandable. Sometimes I cannot even explain why I am upset. Some days I just start crying and do not have a reason… and I just feel like a hassle to everyone around me.. sometimes I just want to have a hug, and sometimes I just need to go to bed.. otherwise I’m stuck in my endless cycle of overthinking and I get nowhere. Nowhere but down.

I hope the best for everyone during these rough times. I hope everyone blossoms and gains the tools to succeed mentally. I need to switch up my coping skills and try new things. Because the things I’m using now aren’t working for me anymore. When I figure out what works for me, I will post an update. But for now, I’m focusing on just living in the now and surviving.

We grow up thinking that being selfish is a negative personality trait. It can be bad in certain situations, but as you get older you start to realize that you need to be selfish to survive. Someone once told me that at the end of the day, you can only count on yourself, and that is so true. If you cut out everyone in your life, you are left with yourself, and if you are not okay with yourself, then you will struggle.

Personally, I grew up as a very nice person. I wanted everyone to like me, and I hated conflict (I still do), but as someone with mental health issues, you need to be there for yourself more than you are there for others.

I am not saying you should treat everyone horribly and not care, but you need to better yourself and be happy in your own skin. It is very tiring when you try to help other people and then you are still dealing with your own problems.

I have really grown as a person in these past few months. For the first time in twenty years, I can say I am finally happy and I can sit by myself and not feel alone. I enjoy doing things by myself and treating myself here and there.

It is time to pick up the broke pieces and put yourself back together. It might not be easy at first, but the more you work at it, the better things get. I can promise you that.

Be selfish, and be you.

This is a little summary of my experience at the Pond House (an inpatient psychiatric facility).

After waiting 6-7 excruciating hours in the emergency room, I was taken into the mental health holding unit. I was going to have to stay here overnight. I couldn’t have my mom or anyone stay with me… couldn’t even have my phone. I was so scared. After crying for what seemed like hours, I finally fell asleep.

I was woken up suddenly by a nurse coming in to take my vitals, then back to sleep I went to try and waste time. Finally my mom and grandma showed up to see me. I just cried and kept crying. My mom had to leave a little bit earlier to handle my life out of here and reach out to my school and let them know where I was. My grandma stayed with me and laid with me until I was transferred. I really wondered if I was making the right decision or not… But this help was long overdue.

Eventually, the doctors explained that they were taking me to the inpatient facility on another floor of the hospital. So my grandma had to leave, and I was back to being alone. The doctors scanned their badges to make their way through many doors in the hospital, and then we made it.

They wheeled me into the inpatient facility. I saw a few other people, but I was way too scared and upset to speak. They showed me around and brought me to the room I would be staying in. I met my roommate, who was a woman in her late 60’s probably. I ended up just laying in bed for the first day.

I was only able to make calls during certain hours of the day, and I could only make calls to people with the “860” area code. If anyone I was trying to call had a different area code, then I had to ask the lady at the front desk to help me make the call. I only had that trouble when trying to call my boyfriend. And I could only make that call twice a day, because of the trouble it was to do so. We also had to visitations a day, at certain times, for an hour each, and it could only be 3 people. The visits took place a tiny common room, you had zero privacy, and the head people listened in. I literally felt like I was in jail… I stayed angry that first day.

Eventually by the next day, I decided that I was going to accept the decision that I made and get the help. I started to talk to some people and mingle a bit. By the end of my stay, I made some really good friends, received the help I needed, and had an experience I would never forget.

I definitely could have used another day at the facility, but if I decided to stay, then I would not have been able to leave until Monday… They do not discharge people on Saturdays or Sundays. I was too scared to stay any longer, so I decided I would get permission to be discharged. That day, my mom came and picked me up, I also received my phone back. Things felt very weird for me. I was literally cut off from society for a few days. I wasn’t able to have my phone to contact anyone, just had to use the facility’s phone. It took me a few days to adjust back to normal, and start to use the coping tools they gave me. Also, I could now start taking a medication to help with my depression. Besides the medicine making me gain some extra weight, it has been a huge help for me. This whole experience was very hard for me, but I was strong enough to get the help that I needed and be brave.

People with any mental health illness, are real people. The stigma needs to end. (A stigma is basically some shame or disgrace that is associated with a certain circumstance, or quality) Stigmas cause people to feel ashamed for something that is out of their control. AND the worst?! Stigmas cause people to NOT get help, because of what others may think of them.

As a person with a mental health illness, I have realized that they best way to end the stigma, is to openly talk about mental health. Also, educate yourself and others who do not suffer. Try to show your compassion towards those with mental health illnesses. Also, be open about your treatment. Do not be embarrassed to say you see a therapist, etc.